18 Commonly Missed Signs of ADHD in Children and Adults
and why it matters
ADHD is one of the most common neurodevelopmental disorders, yet it often goes unrecognized. While hyperactivity and inattentiveness are the hallmarks, ADHD presents differently in each person, leading to missed or delayed diagnoses.
When someone strives to appear “normal,” they may mask their challenges, but this effort comes at a cost. Using significant mental energy to compensate for difficulties can leave them feeling exhausted and inadequate.
I’ve talked with many parents over the years who were not diagnosed as children and wonder how life with a diagnosis and management would have been different. They are often diagnosed after years of struggling with underachievement, relationship difficulties, parenting challenges, anxiety, and more — all improved after starting to manage their ADHD.
None of us can turn back the clock, but we can look at things today and identify subtle issues in our kids (and selves) to better understand underlying reasons for unexpected behaviors.
Recognizing these often-overlooked signs of ADHD can empower parents, caregivers, and teachers to identify the condition early. With proper understanding and support, ADHD can be better managed, helping individuals maintain their self-esteem and reach their full potential.
1. Difficulty Regulating Emotions
ADHD isn’t just about focus; it also affects how people manage their emotions. This might lead to:
In children: Extreme reactions to minor frustrations or difficulty calming down after being upset.
In adults: Struggling to maintain composure in stressful situations or feeling overwhelmed by minor issues.
2. Chronic Forgetfulness and Misplacing Items
Everyone forgets things occasionally, but for people with ADHD, this is persistent.
In children: Forgetting homework — or doing it but forgetting to turn it in, losing toys, or consistently leaving things at school.
In adults: Misplacing keys, wallets, or phones daily and struggling to remember appointments or deadlines.
3. Trouble Starting or Completing Tasks
Not being skilled at task prioritization and execution is often mistaken for laziness or lack of motivation, but it stems from difficulty with executive functioning.
In children: Procrastinating on assignments, even when they know they’ll get in trouble. Being unable to prioritize tasks in order of importance.
In adults: Avoiding tasks that feel overwhelming, like taxes or home projects, and feeling stuck in "analysis paralysis."
4. Sensory Sensitivities
Heightened sensitivity to sensory input is associated with ADHD.
In children: Complaints about clothing tags or socks, loud noises, or bright lights, or more than typical picky eating.
In adults: Feeling irritable or anxious in crowded spaces or finding certain sounds, textures, or scents unbearable.
5. Hyperfocus
While ADHD is associated with distractibility, many people experience hyperfocus, an intense fixation on something they enjoy. This is one of the most misunderstood symptoms of ADHD — too often it is thought that if someone can maintain focus for a sustained period, they cannot have ADHD. This is not true. People with ADHD struggle to direct focus on what is needing attention at the moment, but can maintain focus on preferred things.
In children: Spending hours on video games or building Lego structures while ignoring other responsibilities.
In adults: Losing track of time while working or watching a favorite TV series.
6. Chatting More Than Others
Excessive talking, often at inappropriate times, is sometimes considered a personality trait of a social person but is often due to executive dysfunction and impulsivity.
In children: Constantly interrupting classmates or talking to peers even during quiet activities.
In adults: Oversharing in conversations, interrupting, or feeling unable to stop talking once started.
7. Messiness and Disorganization
ADHD can make organizing physical and mental spaces a significant challenge.
In children: A perpetually messy backpack, desk, or bedroom, despite reminders to tidy up.
In adults: Piles of clutter at home or work, frequently losing items, and struggling to establish routines.
Note: Some people overcompensate in this area and use tools to help with organization and schedule everything with reminders, yet still worry about being late or forgetting something. They may become upset if the organization of an area is not to their standards or if a room is cluttered, they may feel overwhelmed.
8. Difficulty Following Instructions
ADHD can make it hard to process and remember multi-step directions.
In children: Forgetting parts of instructions, like only brushing their teeth and forgetting to put on pajamas when told to get ready for bed.
In adults: Missing steps in a process at work or needing instructions repeated multiple times.
9. Struggling with Social Skills
ADHD often impacts relationships due to impulsivity, distractibility, or missed social cues.
In children: Interrupting conversations, blurting out answers in class, or difficulty waiting their turn.
In adults: Frequently interrupting, dominating conversations, or missing subtle social signals.
10. Restlessness Without Hyperactivity
While hyperactivity is common in children, adults and girls with ADHD often exhibit more subtle signs of restlessness.
In children: Squirming in seats, playing with hair or clothing, or tapping pencils.
In adults: Feeling internally restless, frequently changing jobs, or needing constant movement like pacing or playing with jewelry.
11. Perfectionism and Overcompensation
Some individuals mask their ADHD by working excessively hard to keep up.
In children: Spending hours perfecting school projects or experiencing meltdowns over minor mistakes.
In adults: Over-preparing for meetings or becoming overly critical of their own work.
12. Low Self-Esteem or Feeling “Different”
Years of struggling with undiagnosed ADHD can lead to feelings of inadequacy. This can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.
In children: Saying “I’m dumb” or “I can’t do anything right.”
In adults: Feeling like they are always behind or blaming themselves for difficulties. Smart, capable professionals may suffer from Imposter Syndrome.
13. Time Blindness
People with ADHD often struggle to gauge time accurately, leading to chronic lateness or misjudging how long tasks will take.
In children: Missing deadlines, being late to activities, or rushing at the last minute.
In adults: Forgetting appointments, frequently running late, or underestimating preparation time required for events — even daily tasks.
14. Difficulty Staying on Topic
Drifting off-topic during conversations or tasks is common for people with ADHD.
In children: Telling long-winded stories that wander off topic or blurting out unrelated ideas during discussions are common traits among those with ADHD.
In adults: Struggling to stick to the main point in meetings, emails, or casual conversations can lead to communication difficulties.
15. Bullying
Children and adults with ADHD may be more vulnerable to bullying, both as targets and, at times, as unintentional perpetrators. Recognizing this risk early can help caregivers and teachers provide support, fostering stronger social skills and resilience.
In children: Impulsivity, difficulty reading social cues, or being “different” can make them easy targets for peers. Conversely, frustration or impulsivity might lead them to lash out, which others could perceive as aggressive behavior. They also can be sensitive, so may feel bullied or left out when there is no bullying behavior.
In adults: Social struggles or workplace misunderstandings can lead to exclusion, mockery, or being taken advantage of in professional or personal relationships.
16. Impulsive Eating
ADHD can influence eating behaviors, often leading to impulsive or disordered eating habits.
In children: Sneaking snacks, overeating junk food, or refusing to eat a proper meal due to poor regulation of hunger cues.
In adults: Mindlessly snacking, binge eating, or struggling with emotional eating, especially during times of stress or boredom.
17. Increased Accidents
Impulsivity and distractibility in ADHD often result in a higher risk of accidents or injuries.
In children: Frequent falls, bike accidents, or mishaps during sports or playground activities.
In adults: Car accidents, kitchen mishaps, or workplace injuries due to being easily distracted or acting too quickly without thinking.
18. Sleep Problems
Difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up refreshed is a common symptom of ADHD and sleep problems can lead to a misdiagnosis of ADHD, so it is important to discuss sleep concerns with your physician.
In children: Taking hours to wind down at night, resisting bedtime routines, or waking frequently during the night.
In adults: Lying awake with racing thoughts, inconsistent sleep schedules, or frequently feeling tired.
Why Diagnosis Matters
Left untreated, ADHD can lead to academic struggles, difficulty maintaining relationships, and low self-esteem. It has even been shown to shorten the lifespan significantly.
Early diagnosis allows individuals to access tools and strategies to manage symptoms effectively.
My next post will be about recognizing masked ADHD. Stay tuned!
Remember, you’ve got this!
Can someone be tested multiple times and still be misdiagnosed?
Thank you.