Holiday Stress Management
for neurodivergent teens
Over the next couple of months there will be many situations where friends and family gather. Your plans may even include traveling due to school vacation time.
The holiday season can be a time filled with warmth, excitement, and joy — but if you’re a neurodivergent teen, it can also bring a unique set of stressors. From bustling family gatherings to long, chaotic travel days, the season’s challenges can sometimes overshadow its joys. But with the right approach, you can make this holiday season one that feels more comfortable and fulfilling.
Let’s look at effective strategies you can use to handle holiday stress and even travel with less stress.
Plan Ahead to Anticipate Triggers
Preparation is key to managing sensory triggers.
If you know you’re heading into a crowded gathering or going on a long trip, take time beforehand to think through what might be difficult.
What sensory experiences might trigger discomfort? Things like loud music, big crowds, scratchy sweaters, scented candles and other things can cause overwhelm.
What situations could increase your stress levels? Will your relative ask too many questions or want a hug? Will you be expected to talk to people you don’t know well?
Pack Comforts for a Sensory Diet
Once you identify the sensory triggers, you can plan coping strategies — a sensory diet. Whether you’re at a large family gathering or stuck in an airport, having sensory-friendly items can make a world of difference.
This could be a soft hoodie, sunglasses to reduce bright lighting, noise-canceling headphones, downloading your favorite calming playlists, or creating a small “comfort kit” with items that help you relax, such as fidget toys, gum, or familiar snacks.
Think about what has soothed you in the past and make it part of your holiday toolkit.
Advocate for Your Needs
Your comfort matters. Don’t be afraid to speak up and communicate your needs to family members or travel companions.
Whether it’s requesting a quiet space to take breaks or explaining why certain activities may feel overwhelming, being open about your needs can lead to more supportive environments.
Stick to Your Routine When Possible
Holidays often mean changes to your regular schedule, which can be unsettling. Trying to keep a schedule for sleeping and eating can help emotional regulation — we all know that tired, sick, and hungry contribute to dysregulation.
While you might not be able to keep your full daily routine, try to maintain small, grounding habits — whether it’s listening to your favorite podcast before bed, practicing a few minutes of deep breathing, or journaling. These small acts can help you feel more in control and centered.
Pack some healthy snacks so if a meal is later than usual you don’t have to go hungry and let hanger set in. Grab a snack rich in protein to boost mood-improving neurotransmitters in your brain.
Try to keep your bedtime within a couple of hours of your usual sleep time. Staying up too late and sleeping in too long may disrupt your sleep schedule long term.
Find An Escape
It’s okay to take breaks and get away from everything and everyone.
If social situations start to feel overwhelming, find a moment to step outside or retreat to a quieter space.
Even five minutes alone can help reset your energy and calm your mind. Let people know ahead of time that you might need these breaks so there are no surprises. Tell someone where you’re going before you leave so they know where to find you if needed — and so they don’t worry about your safety if you’re missing.
Manage Expectations
We’re often told the holidays should be “perfect,” but perfection is an unfair and unrealistic standard. This is true for personal expectations as well as situations you can’t control.
Remind yourself that it’s okay if things don’t go as planned. Try to have a go-with-the-flow attitude and allow changes to happen.
Look for the benefits of new situations.
Find the Positives
Focus on the moments that bring you joy — like sharing a laugh with a cousin or enjoying a favorite holiday treat.
We tend to focus on the negative, but if we look for the small moments of joy, we will start to notice more positives. Focusing on the positives can raise our mood and lift our spirits.
The thoughts we have most often are the ones we tend to feel and believe. If you allow the negative thoughts to take up space in your head, you’ll have an overall negative mood. If you focus on positive thoughts and repeat them throughout the day, your mood will be more positive.
Give Yourself Grace
Above all, be kind to yourself.
We tend to bully ourselves. We say things to ourselves that we would never tell a friend. Don’t bully yourself! Learn to be your own best friend.
If things don’t go perfectly or if you need extra downtime, that’s okay. Navigating the holidays can be tough but recognizing that you’re doing your best can take a load off your mind.
Fuel your Body
We’ve all heard that we are what we eat, but many don’t realize just how important a balance of nutrition is. Holidays are often filled with sweet treats, irregular meals, and alcohol, which can increase our negative stress response.
What we eat and drink can affect stress through several mechanisms, including the following:
1. Nutrient Support for Brain Function
Balanced Mood Regulation: Nutrients such as omega-3 fatty acids, magnesium, B vitamins, and amino acids are essential for the production of neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine. These neurotransmitters play key roles in mood regulation and stress reduction.
Stable Energy Levels: Foods rich in complex carbohydrates (such as whole grains, fruits, and vegetables) help maintain steady blood sugar levels, preventing the energy crashes and irritability that can exacerbate stress.
2. Reduced Inflammation
Anti-Inflammatory Foods: Diets high in processed foods, sugar, and unhealthy fats can lead to chronic inflammation, which has been linked to higher stress levels and mood disorders. Consuming anti-inflammatory foods like leafy greens, berries, and fatty fish can help reduce inflammation and its associated stress responses.
3. Enhanced Gut Health
Gut-Brain Connection: The gut microbiome plays a significant role in mental health. Eating a diet rich in fiber, fermented foods, and prebiotics can promote healthy gut bacteria, which produce short-chain fatty acids and other compounds that support a balanced stress response and improve overall well-being.
4. Improved Sleep Quality
Nutrient-Driven Rest: Certain foods, such as those high in tryptophan (found in turkey, dairy, and nuts) and magnesium (found in spinach, bananas, and almonds), can promote the production of melatonin and serotonin. These chemicals help regulate sleep patterns, ensuring better rest and a more effective recovery from daily stressors.
5. Lower Cortisol Levels
Blood Sugar Control: Diets high in refined sugar and simple carbs can cause spikes in blood sugar, triggering an increase in cortisol (a stress hormone). Eating protein-rich meals and healthy fats helps stabilize blood sugar levels, leading to lower cortisol release and reduced stress.
6. Hydration and Stress Reduction
Proper Hydration: Dehydration can lead to increased stress and anxiety. Drinking enough water and eating water-rich foods (like fruits and vegetables) helps maintain optimal hydration and supports cognitive function, aiding in the reduction of stress.
7. Mindful Eating
Relaxation Benefits: Practicing mindful eating, which involves being fully present while eating, helps foster a sense of relaxation and awareness. This practice can decrease stress by slowing down the nervous system and promoting a calmer state of mind.
8. Celebrate Wisely
Many people celebrate holidays and other occasions with alcohol. Alcohol can contribute to stress in many ways, including:
1. Disruption of Brain Function and Mood Regulation
Neurotransmitter Imbalance: Alcohol can interfere with the balance of neurotransmitters in the brain, negatively impacting mood and increasing the risk of depression and anxiety. While alcohol initially acts as a depressant that might create a temporary feeling of relaxation, it often leads to heightened anxiety or stress as it is metabolized.
Long-Term Effects on Brain Health: Regular alcohol consumption can damage areas of the brain responsible for emotional regulation, leading to chronic stress responses.
2. Increasing Cortisol Levels
Elevated Stress Hormones: Drinking alcohol can trigger the release of cortisol, the body’s primary stress hormone. Chronic elevation of cortisol due to regular alcohol consumption can increase stress levels and contribute to various health issues, such as high blood pressure and weight gain.
3. Negatively Impacting Sleep Quality
Disrupted Sleep Cycles: Although alcohol might initially make a person feel drowsy, it disrupts REM sleep, which is essential for emotional processing and stress recovery. Poor sleep quality can compound stress and impair cognitive function, making it harder to handle daily challenges effectively.
Sleep Fragmentation: Alcohol can lead to fragmented sleep, causing frequent wake-ups during the night, which prevents the restorative sleep needed for stress resilience.
4. Contributing to Nutritional Deficiencies
Depletion of Essential Nutrients: Alcohol can interfere with the body’s absorption and utilization of important stress-reducing nutrients such as B vitamins, magnesium, and zinc. These nutrients are crucial for neurotransmitter synthesis and energy production, and their deficiency can exacerbate stress and fatigue.
Dehydration and Electrolyte Imbalance: Alcohol acts as a diuretic, leading to dehydration and an imbalance of electrolytes, both of which can increase stress levels and decrease cognitive function.
5. Aggravating Gut Health
Harm to Gut Microbiome: Alcohol consumption can negatively impact gut health by altering the gut microbiome and damaging the gut lining. Since the gut and brain are closely connected, poor gut health can lead to increased anxiety and stress.
Inflammatory Response: Alcohol can trigger inflammation in the gut, which may lead to an inflammatory response in the body and further contribute to mood disorders and stress.
6. Creating a Vicious Cycle
Stress-Alcohol Cycle: Many people turn to alcohol as a way to manage stress, but this can create a harmful cycle. The temporary relief provided by alcohol is often followed by increased anxiety and stress, prompting further drinking. This cycle can lead to dependence and chronic stress over time, and the younger a person starts drinking alcohol, the higher the risk of developing a substance use disorder.
7. Impairment of Decision-Making
Poor Lifestyle Choices: Alcohol impairs judgment and can lead to unhealthy and unsafe choices and situations.
While a balanced diet full of nutrient-dense foods can reduce stress and support mental health, alcohol consumption can undermine these efforts. Reducing or eliminating alcohol intake is crucial for managing stress effectively, promoting better sleep, and maintaining overall mental and physical well-being.
Final Thoughts
The holidays don’t have to be as stressful as you fear.
With a bit of preparation, clear communication, and the right self-care tools, you can handle holiday gatherings and travel with more confidence.
Remember — it’s about finding balance and creating moments that bring you comfort and joy.
You’ve got this!