The Hidden Benefits of Fidgeting

Understanding Your Child's Need to Move

Several times a week, I see parents in my office telling their kids to stop fidgeting. Last week a child told me their school has banned fidgets because they were too distracting. These attempts to limit fidgeting reminds me of when left-handed kids were forced to use their right hand. It isn’t natural and it certainly isn’t helpful.

During office visits, when kids are reminded to sit still, I see it as an opportunity for a teachable moment. Why? Because if they’re not being disruptive, small movements (like swinging their legs, fidgeting with their clothing, or holding an object) can actually help them focus and engage better in our conversation.

I take a moment to explain to parents that movement isn't necessarily a sign of inattention or misbehavior. In fact, for many kids, especially those with ADHD or sensory needs, these movements can be a self-regulation strategy that helps them process information more effectively. Encouraging kids to move in appropriate ways, such as allowing them to hold a small fidget toy, tap their fingers, or shift in their seat, can improve their ability to listen, think, and respond.

By reframing movement as a tool rather than problem behavior, parents can better support their child's natural learning and attention strategies, both in the doctor's office and in daily activities.

If a child is not allowed to have fidget items at school, I encourage parents to work with the school. For those who qualify for a 504 Plan or IEP accommodations, fidgets, standing desks, wiggle chairs, or brain breaks to get up and move can be written into their accommodation plan. If they are not eligible for accommodations, we talk about what things students can use as manipulatives without being distracting to others, such as rubbing the writing on a pencil or a piece of jewelry or clothing, and how to tap their toes while sitting with crossed legs in their chair.

Why Fidgeting is Beneficial

1. Enhances Focus and Attention:

For many children, particularly those with attention-related challenges, fidgeting can be a coping mechanism that helps them concentrate.

Gentle movements, like tapping fingers or bouncing legs, can keep them engaged and prevent distraction. These small movements can help to improve cognitive function and information retention.

2. Promotes Sensory Processing:

Children experience and process the world primarily through their senses. Fidgeting can serve as a way for kids to engage their sensory systems, providing the stimulation they need to feel more comfortable in their environment.

By allowing kids to fidget, we acknowledge and support their individual ways of processing sensory information.

3. Reduces Anxiety and Stress:

Fidgeting can be a self-soothing action that helps children alleviate feelings of anxiety. Similar to how adults might squeeze a stress ball or pace when stressed, children may find calmness in small movements.

Encouraging these behaviors can empower them to develop healthier coping mechanisms.

4. Improves Physical Health:

In a world where sedentary behavior is increasingly common, fidgeting allows children to incorporate movement into their day-to-day activities.

Short bursts of physical activity, even in the form of fidgeting, can contribute to overall health by improving blood circulation, increasing heart rate, and encouraging better posture. (I still encourage all kids to exercise enough to raise their heart rate for at least 60 minutes total each day!)

The Risks of Forcing Stillness

While it’s understandable to want children to exhibit polite behavior, consistently telling them to “sit still” can have unintended consequences:

1. Increased Anxiety:

Forcing children to remain motionless can heighten their anxiety levels. If a child feels they cannot express their natural need to move, they may become frustrated or feel punished for their instincts. This can lead to a cycle of anxiety where they start to associate sitting still with discomfort or even fear.

2. Lowered Self-Esteem:

Children who frequently hear that they are "too fidgety" may internalize this message and start to view themselves as problematic or disruptive. This negative self-perception can impact their confidence, prompting them to withdraw socially or academically.

3. Impacts on Learning:

Struggling to sit still can distract not only the child but also those around them. Yet, if we discourage fidgeting, we risk overlooking a child's unique learning process. When kids are encouraged to move, they may be able to engage more effectively with materials and peers.

4. Counterproductive Behavior:

Insisting on stillness could actually lead to more severe behavior issues. When children feel their basic needs for movement are not acknowledged, they may act out in other ways to express their natural energy.

Creating a Supportive Environment

As parents, caregivers, and teachers, it’s important to recognize that every child is unique. Instead of viewing fidgeting as bad behavior, rudeness, or a sign of disengagement, try reframing it as a natural way for some children to focus and self-regulate. When you shift your perspective, you can approach the situation with the goal of supporting your child’s needs rather than trying to stop a behavior you don’t like.

Some strategies to help support their natural urge to fidget include:

1. Designate Fidget Tools:

Providing items like stress balls, textured toys, or pop-its can give children an acceptable outlet for their fidgeting. These tools can keep their hands busy while their minds focus on other tasks. Of course, work with the school to be sure your child doesn’t suffer consequences for using these.

2. Incorporate Movement Breaks:

Whether it's between subjects during homework or in the middle of family meetings, allow for short breaks where kids can move their bodies. Encourage activities like jumping jacks or stretching to release pent-up energy. Use a timer to remind everyone to get back to the task at hand when the brain break is done.

3. Promote Flexible Seating Arrangements:

If possible, provide options for comfortable seating that allow for motion, such as bean bags or wobble cushions. Children can make choices and find what helps them focus best. Work with the school to allow for flexible seating in the classroom.

4. Model Acceptance:

Show your child that it’s okay to fidget. Share your own movement habits while working, whether it’s pacing or using a stress ball. This normalizes their behaviors.

Final Thoughts

Parents are expected to teach their children discipline, but discipline is not equivalent to sitting still. By encouraging them to sit still during meals, while doing homework, or in social situations, parents might unknowingly be inhibiting their kids.

Research suggests that fidgeting might be a natural, even beneficial, behavior for children — especially those who struggle with focus or attention. Understanding this can help us create a more supportive environment where our children can thrive.

Does it still bother you? Flip your thoughts! Fidgeting is not done to annoy you. If it does, try to flip your thinking about it. Remember that fidgeting is often a helpful tool people (not just kids!) use to focus, and you don’t want to take helpful tools away from your child(ren).

If you see a bit of harmless wiggling — even helpful to their emotional regulation, it’s easier to be okay with it!

By shifting our perspective from a “sit still” mentality to one that embraces movement as a natural and beneficial behavior, we can promote a happier and healthier learning environment for our children. Children thrive on movement, exploration, and self-expression.

Let’s support their need to fidget!